80 Funny Roasts to Say to A Bully

Last updated on February 24th, 2024 at 12:53 pm

Dealing with a bully can be challenging, but sometimes, a touch of humor can be a powerful weapon. In this guide, we’ll explore 80 witty roasts that can help you disarm a bully with laughter. These roasts are designed to be light-hearted, turning the tables on the negativity and injecting a dose of humor into the situation.

Lis Of Funny Roasts to Say to A Bully

• I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were still alive.
• I’d say I miss you, but I’d be lying.
• The only reason you’re picking on me is because you’re too small to pick on your size
• I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am
• I’m not sure what you’re trying to achieve here, but it’s not working
• I’m sorry, I don’t speak bully
• If you’re going to try to insult me, you’re going to need to do better than that
• I’m not sure why you’re so mean, but I hope you find happiness someday
• If I keep letting you bully me are you going to get paid eventually
• I won’t let you ruin my day. I’m going to go on and have a great day, and you’re going to be stuck being a bully
• Whatever your problem is, I hope you get help.
• I don’t have time to deal with your childish behavior maybe try talking to kids
• I’m going to go now, and I’m not going to let you ruin my day
• Do you think you can let me go so you can cry alone
• I’m walking away now, to find someone who will treat me with respect
• Don’t bully me. I’m going to stand up to you
• You keep scaring me, ill face you head-on
• You can’t win if there are no fighters in your family
• I love myself for who I am, it is funny how you do not love yourself
• If you control me, you would be a foolish person
• You can’t bully me anymore, and is funny you are still trying to
• I’m not going to let you scare me anymore with this clown stuff
• You can’t win, and you should know this by now
• Do you know that bullies have been known to have bad breath
• With how you seek control why not work for the aviation towers
• I’m not afraid of you, those biceps are filled with water
• You can drop the act now, no one is going to cheer you on
• I can’t back down because this ain’t the same rodeo
• Start again maybe ill get scared the second time.
• One of us will come out of it alive are you still down?
• You’re not worth my time try some weights instead
• This much energy can take you far, shame you here wasting it
• Is that tears I see in your eyes
• You’re not worth my anger.”
• I’m afraid you may have to do this till you die
• My day just got better knowing you can’t do without me
• If you want to ruin your life that’s fine by me.
• I have moved on with my life, and you’re going to be left behind
• do you know I’m going to be successful, and you’re going to be a loser?
• I’m going to be happy, and you’re going to be miserable
• It’s funny how you are the bully but I end up laughing in the end
• Let’s get down to business
• Since bullying makes you happy, why not take it interstate
• You must be vying for the title of the most successful bully
• Your actions show who lives amongst the both of us
• I earn my respect, what can you say about yours
• By now you should know you can’t have everything you always wanted
• Happiness is never found in a folded fist
• Tell me, do you plan on winning state champions in bullying
• You must be training hard to be the best at this
• You can get to me, I hope you know by now
• How long before you get old in this game
• Good to know you already have a bad day
• How do you get control by doing this often, and still haven’t any lead in life
• If you feel bad about yourself, you don’t need to let the world know
• Stop embarrassing yourself by thinking you are scary
• Acting a fool has never suited bullies
• What tales does your trauma have for me today
• You should have a theme song by now with all the strong-arming you have done
• I won’t be a part of your negativity. Find someone else to target.
• You’re like a broken record, and I’m not interested in playing your tune.
• Your attempts at intimidation won’t work on me. Save your energy for something productive.
• Bullies like you thrive on reactions. Sorry to disappoint, but you won’t get one from me.
• I’m immune to your attempts to bring me down. Try lifting yourself up for a change.
• Your words say more about you than they do about me. Reflect on that.
• I’d lend you a hand, but you’d probably use it to slap yourself out of frustration.
• Bullying might be your hobby, but it’s not on my list of interests.
• I’m not in the market for a bully. Move along; you won’t find a buyer here.
• If you put as much effort into self-improvement as you do into bullying, maybe you’d accomplish something.
• Your negativity is like water off a duck’s back. I’m not letting it stick.
• You must be tired from carrying all that negativity. Try letting go; it’s liberating.
• It’s funny how you think you can control others when you can’t even control yourself.
• Bullying is a sign of weakness. Find strength within yourself instead of trying to take it from others.
• I’ve seen scarier things in my sleep. You’re not even on my radar.
• You can’t break what’s already unbreakable. Nice try, though.
• Your words are as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Keep trying, maybe you’ll find a leak.
• Bullying is so last season. Upgrade your attitude; it’s overdue for a makeover.
• Your attempts to bring me down only highlight your own insecurities.
• I’m not a mirror for your negativity. Look inward; that’s where real change happens.

1. Sorry, I didn’t realize you were still alive.

Response: Well, I guess zombies do roam the Earth. Ever considered a career in horror movies? Your acting skills are on point.

Explanation: This roast takes a playful jab at the bully’s attempt to intimidate. It suggests that the bully’s presence is so unremarkable that they might be mistaken for the undead.

2. I’d say I miss you, but I’d be lying.

Response: Missing you is like missing a toothache – painful and unnecessary. My life is better without your negativity.

Explanation: This roast cleverly plays on the common expression of missing someone. It suggests that the bully’s absence is a welcome relief.

3. The only reason you’re picking on me is because you’re too small to pick on your size.

Response: Ah, the classic case of small dog syndrome. Ever thought of auditioning for a role as a pocket-sized tough guy?

Explanation: This roast humorously suggests that the bully is compensating for their size by picking on others. The mention of a “pocket-sized tough guy” adds a touch of irony.

4. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Response: Can you speak up? I couldn’t hear you over the applause for my awesomeness. Maybe you need a megaphone?

Explanation: This roast turns the tables by highlighting the speaker’s confidence and self-love, suggesting that the bully’s attempts at intimidation are drowned out by the speaker’s awesomeness.

5. I’m not sure what you’re trying to achieve here, but it’s not working.

Response: Are you attempting a one-man show? Because the audience seems to be snoozing. Maybe try stand-up comedy instead of bullying.

Explanation: This roast uses humor to deflate the bully’s ego, implying that their attempts to intimidate are as entertaining as a dull performance.

Read Also : 25 Best Responses To “Ooga Booga.”

6. I’m sorry, I don’t speak bully.

Response: Is that a new language? Because I only speak kindness and respect. Maybe you should enroll in Language of Positivity 101?

Explanation: This roast cleverly suggests that bullying is a language the speaker refuses to understand, encouraging the bully to consider a more positive approach.

7. If you’re going to try to insult me, you’re going to need to do better than that.

Response: Is that the best you’ve got? I’ve heard more cutting remarks from a butter knife. Step up your insult game, champ.

Explanation: This roast playfully challenges the quality of the bully’s insults, suggesting that they are falling short in the wit department.

8. I’m not sure why you’re so mean, but I hope you find happiness someday.

Response: Are you on a quest for the Grumpiest Person Alive award? Spoiler alert: happiness won’t be found in cruelty.

Explanation: This roast takes a compassionate approach, highlighting the absurdity of seeking fulfillment through mean-spirited behavior.

9. If I keep letting you bully me, are you going to get paid eventually?

Response: Bullying as a career? Good luck with that. Last I checked, there’s no job market for spreading negativity.

Explanation: This roast humorously questions the bully’s motives, implying that they might be expecting financial compensation for their bullying efforts.

10. I won’t let you ruin my day. I’m going to go on and have a great day, and you’re going to be stuck being a bully.

Response: While I’m out enjoying life, you can stay here perfecting your art of misery. Spoiler: it’s not a skill in high demand.

Explanation: This roast empowers the speaker by asserting their control over their own happiness, contrasting it with the bully’s negative focus.

11. Whatever your problem is, I hope you get help.

Response: Therapy’s a thing, you know. They’re professionals at dealing with issues. Maybe they offer a discount for bullies.

Explanation: This roast suggests that the bully’s behavior is indicative of deeper problems, encouraging them to seek professional help.

12. I don’t have time to deal with your childish behavior; maybe try talking to kids.

Response: Playground antics are so last season. Maybe try recess; you might find someone willing to play your games.

Explanation: This roast dismisses the bully’s behavior as childish, suggesting they might find more receptive participants among children.

13. I’m going to go now, and I’m not going to let you ruin my day.

Response: Adieu, negativity! I’m off to brighter places, leaving you in the dust of your own bitterness.

Explanation: This roast reinforces the speaker’s commitment to not letting the bully affect their day, emphasizing the power of personal choice.

14. Do you think you can let me go so you can cry alone?

Response: If I unshackle myself from your negativity, will I hear the distant sound of sobbing? Go ahead, have a good cry.

Explanation: This roast humorously suggests that the bully’s aggression may be a cover for their own emotional struggles.

15. I’m walking away now, to find someone who will treat me with respect.

Response: My destination? Respectville. Population: people who don’t resort to bullying. You might want to consider a visit.

Explanation: This roast cleverly implies that the speaker values respect over bullying and is choosing to surround themselves with respectful individuals.

16. Don’t bully me. I’m going to stand up to you.

Response: Brave of you to try bullying, but I come with a built-in anti-bully shield. Good luck breaking through.

Explanation: This roast empowers the speaker by suggesting they are resilient to bullying attempts, turning the tables on the aggressor.

17. You keep scaring me; I’ll face you head-on.

Response: Is that your attempt at fear? I’ve seen scarier Halloween costumes. Try again, maybe add more creativity next time.

Explanation: This roast humorously diminishes the bully’s attempts at intimidation, comparing it to a less-than-impressive scare tactic.

18. You can’t win if there are no fighters in your family.

Response: Is your family allergic to courage? Maybe you should introduce them to bravery; it seems like a foreign concept.

Explanation: This roast playfully suggests that the lack of fighters in the bully’s family might be the reason for their weak attempts at intimidation.

19. I love myself for who I am; it’s funny how you do not love yourself.

Response: Self-love is a beautiful thing. Maybe you should try it instead of spreading negativity. It does wonders for the soul.

Explanation: This roast turns the attention to the bully, highlighting the irony of their behavior given the positive benefits of self-love.

20. If you control me, you would be a foolish person.

Response: Controlling me? That’s a lofty goal. You might need to upgrade your intelligence; the current model seems a bit outdated.

Explanation: This roast humorously challenges the feasibility of the bully’s desire to control the speaker, implying that it would require a level of intelligence beyond their current capacity.

21. You can’t bully me anymore, and it’s funny you are still trying to.

Response: It’s like watching a broken record. You keep playing the same tune, but I’ve already switched to a better station.

Explanation: This roast uses a metaphor to convey the repetitive nature of the bully’s behavior, suggesting that it’s outdated and ineffective.

22. I’m not going to let you scare me anymore with this clown stuff.

Response: Are you auditioning for the circus? Your attempts at clowning around are more amusing than terrifying. Keep practicing those juggling skills.

Explanation: This roast playfully compares the bully’s behavior to that of a clown, highlighting the lack of genuine fear invoked.

23. You can’t win, and you should know this by now.

Response: It’s like playing chess with someone who doesn’t know the rules. Checkmate, my friend. Better luck next time.

Explanation: This roast metaphorically suggests that the bully is engaged in a game they can’t win, emphasizing the speaker’s resilience.

24. Do you know that bullies have been known to have bad breath?

Response: Is that the secret ingredient to your intimidation strategy? Maybe invest in some breath mints; it might improve your success rate.

Explanation: This roast humorously associates bad breath with bullying, suggesting that the bully’s attempts at intimidation might be hindered by an unpleasant aroma.

25. With how you seek control, why not work for the aviation towers?

Response: Air traffic controller material, huh? Your desire for control might be better suited to managing flights than people.

Explanation: This roast cleverly redirects the bully’s desire for control into a career suggestion, adding a touch of irony.

26. I’m not afraid of you; those biceps are filled with water.

Response: Are those biceps or water balloons? Your attempts at intimidation might be more effective if your muscles weren’t made of H2O.

Explanation: This roast playfully diminishes the bully’s physical presence, suggesting that their muscles are less formidable than they appear.

27. You can drop the act now; no one is going to cheer you on.

Response: The stage is empty, and the applause is in your imagination. Time to retire from the drama; the audience has left.

Explanation: This roast metaphorically likens the bully’s behavior to a theatrical performance, suggesting that the audience (support) is nonexistent.

28. I can’t back down because this ain’t the same rodeo.

Response: Rodeo’s over, cowboy. I’ve upgraded to a more challenging arena. Maybe try taming your negativity elsewhere.

Explanation: This roast metaphorically compares the bully’s behavior to a rodeo, emphasizing the speaker’s growth beyond that particular challenge.

29. Start again; maybe I’ll get scared the second time.

Response: Fresh start, huh? I’m afraid my fear quota has been filled. You might need a new tactic; this one’s not doing the trick.

Explanation: This roast humorously challenges the bully to try again, suggesting that their attempts at intimidation have lost their impact.

30. One of us will come out of it alive; are you still down?

Response: Are we in a gladiator arena? I prefer peace, but if you want to battle, prepare for defeat. The pen is mightier than the sword, after all.

Explanation: This roast metaphorically frames the interaction as a battle, with the speaker confidently asserting their ability to come out victorious.

31. You’re not worth my time; try some weights instead.

Response: My time is precious, and spending it on you is like lifting empty mind. Maybe hit the gym, you might actually lift something worthwhile.

Explanation: This roast cleverly likens the bully to empty weights, suggesting that their worth is comparable to a lack of substance.

32. This much energy can take you far; shame you’re here wasting it.

Response: Energy wasted on negativity is like fueling a car with water. Maybe redirect that energy towards something positive; you might go places.

Explanation: This roast playfully encourages the bully to channel their energy into more productive endeavors, emphasizing the futility of negativity.

33. Is that tears I see in your eyes?

Response: Are those tears or a failed attempt at intimidation? Either way, maybe invest in waterproof mascara; it might withstand your negativity.

Explanation: This roast humorously suggests that the bully’s tears are more a result of their failed attempts at intimidation than genuine emotion.

34. You’re not worth my anger.

Response: My anger is a limited edition; you’re not on the exclusive list. Keep trying; maybe one day you’ll be worthy of a raised eyebrow.

Explanation: This roast dismisses the bully’s actions as unworthy of the speaker’s anger, creating a sense of exclusivity.

35. I’m afraid you may have to do this till you die.

Response: Is this your life’s mission? Bullying till the end? Good luck; it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself.

Explanation: This roast humorously suggests that the bully’s commitment to negativity is a lifelong endeavor, emphasizing the long road ahead.

36. My day just got better knowing you can’t do without me.

Response: Your dependence on my existence is flattering. Keep trying to bring me down; you’re unintentionally lifting me up.

Explanation: This roast playfully suggests that the bully’s focus on the speaker inadvertently contributes to the speaker’s well-being.

37. If you want to ruin your life, that’s fine by me.

Response: Ruining your own life is a personal choice. I’ll be over here living my best one, untouched by your chaos.

Explanation: This roast empowers the speaker by suggesting that the bully’s negativity has no impact on the speaker’s life trajectory.

38. I have moved on with my life, and you’re going to be left behind.

Response: Life’s a race, and you’re lagging behind. Maybe try catching up, but leave the negativity at the starting line.

Explanation: This roast metaphorically frames life as a race, with the speaker confidently asserting their advancement beyond the bully.

39. Do you know I’m going to be successful, and you’re going to be a loser?

Response: Success is my destination, and I’ll wave from the top while you’re stuck in the loser’s circle. Maybe invest in a map?

Explanation: This roast confidently asserts the speaker’s future success while playfully suggesting the bully’s perpetual status as a “loser.”

40. I’m going to be happy, and you’re going to be miserable.

Response: Happiness is my company, and misery won’t be my plus one. Maybe try RSVPing for a more uplifting event. It’s invitation-only, though, and negativity isn’t on the guest list.

Explanation: This roast cleverly frames happiness as the speaker’s companion, excluding misery from the guest list, and playfully suggesting the bully’s exclusion.

41. It’s funny how you are the bully, but I end up laughing in the end.

Response: Bullying 101: the joke’s on you. I get the last laugh, and you’re stuck with the punchline of your own negativity.

Explanation: This roast humorously highlights the irony of the bully’s role, suggesting that their actions inadvertently become a source of amusement for the speaker.

42. Let’s get down to business.

Response: Ah, the business of negativity. I’m afraid I’m not investing; the return on joy is much higher.

Explanation: This roast humorously reframes the bully’s aggression as a business proposition, with the speaker playfully declining to participate.

43. Since bullying makes you happy, why not take it interstate?

Response: Interstate bullying, the new extreme sport. Maybe you’ll find more enthusiasts in a different time zone. Happy travels!

Explanation: This roast playfully suggests that the bully’s pursuit of happiness through bullying might find more success in a different location.

44. You must be vying for the title of the most successful bully.

Response: Ah, the prestigious title of Chief Bully. I hear the competition is tough, but your resume might lack the necessary accomplishments.

Explanation: This roast humorously elevates the bully’s role to a competitive level, implying that they might not be the most successful in their chosen field.

45. Your actions show who has lived amongst the both of us.

Response: Actions speak louder than words, and yours are yelling insecurity. Maybe try some self-reflection; it’s quieter.

Explanation: This roast cleverly points out that the bully’s actions are revealing more about their own character than about the speaker.

46. I earn my respect; what can you say about yours?

Response: Respect is earned, not extracted through intimidation. I’ve got a well-earned collection; how’s your portfolio looking?

Explanation: This roast confidently asserts the speaker’s earned respect while challenging the bully to reflect on their own approach.

47. By now, you should know you can’t have everything you always wanted.

Response: Reality check: not everything you want is up for grabs. Maybe settle for happiness instead of trying to snatch it from others.

Explanation: This roast pragmatically suggests that the bully’s desire for control and dominance may be unrealistic, offering an alternative path to contentment.

48. Happiness is never found in a folded fist.

Response: Clenched fists might be good for intimidation, but they won’t find happiness. Try opening your hand; it’s a good start.

Explanation: This roast metaphorically suggests that the path to happiness involves an open and accepting stance rather than aggression.

49. Tell me, do you plan on winning state champions in bullying?

Response: State champions in negativity? I hear the trophy is a frown. Good luck with your pursuit of the glum gold.

Explanation: This roast humorously elevates the concept of bullying to a championship level, emphasizing the absurdity of such an endeavor.

50. You must be training hard to be the best at this.

Response: Bullying boot camp, huh? I hope there’s a diploma for that. Maybe consider a course in kindness instead.

Explanation: This roast playfully compares the bully’s behavior to a rigorous training program, suggesting an alternative educational path.

51. You can get to me; I hope you know by now.

Response: Breaking news: you can’t. My resilience is like a fortress; your negativity is just a pebble against the walls.

Explanation: This roast confidently asserts the speaker’s resilience, metaphorically comparing it to an impenetrable fortress.

52. How long before you get old in this game?

Response: Bullying is a young person’s game. Time to retire those tactics; they’ve aged like milk. Try wisdom instead.

Explanation: This roast humorously suggests that the bully’s tactics are outdated, framing bullying as a game that doesn’t age well.

53. Good to know you already have a bad day.

Response: Starting the day with negativity? Not my cup of tea. I prefer a splash of optimism in my morning brew.

Explanation: This roast humorously acknowledges the bully’s choice to start the day negatively, contrasting it with the speaker’s preference for positivity.

54. How do you get control by doing this often, and still haven’t any lead in life?

Response: It’s like trying to drive without a steering wheel. Maybe try gaining control over your own life first.

Explanation: This roast humorously suggests that the bully’s attempts at control are futile if they can’t navigate their own life successfully.

55. If you feel bad about yourself, you don’t need to let the world know.

Response: Broadcasting your insecurities? There’s no need for a public service announcement. Maybe try a journal instead.

Explanation: This roast gently suggests that the bully’s attempts to project their insecurities onto others are unnecessary, offering a more private outlet.

56. Stop embarrassing yourself by thinking you are scary.

Response: Scariness is an art, and your canvas is blank. Maybe try painting with kindness; it’s a masterpiece waiting to happen.

Explanation: This roast humorously suggests that the bully’s attempts at intimidation are ineffective, encouraging a shift toward a more positive approach.

57. Acting a fool has never suited bullies.

Response: Foolishness isn’t a good look on anyone. Maybe try a more sophisticated approach to achieving your goals.

Explanation: This roast playfully suggests that the bully’s behavior is akin to acting foolish, discouraging such a demeanor.

58. What tales does your trauma have for me today?

Response: Trauma storytelling? I prefer fiction with a happy ending. Maybe try penning a new narrative with a positive twist.

Explanation: This roast humorously implies that the bully’s behavior is rooted in personal trauma, encouraging them to rewrite their story more positively.

59. You should have a theme song by now with all the strong-arming you have done.

Response: A soundtrack for negativity? I recommend adding some upbeat tunes; it might lighten the atmosphere.

Explanation: This roast playfully suggests that the bully’s behavior has become a repetitive theme, recommending a more positive soundtrack.

60. I won’t be a part of your negativity. Find someone else to target.

Response: Negativity needs company, but I’m not volunteering. Maybe check the classifieds for a willing participant.

Explanation: This roast assertively refuses to be a target, suggesting that the bully needs to look elsewhere for someone willing to engage in negativity.

61. You’re like a broken record, and I’m not interested in playing your tune.

Response: Your record’s stuck on negativity. Maybe invest in a new album; the current one is a bit tiresome.

Explanation: This roast metaphorically likens the bully to a broken record, emphasizing the repetitive nature of their negativity.

62. Your attempts at intimidation won’t work on me. Save your energy for something productive.

Response: Is this your version of a power nap? Your attempts at intimidation are more like a lullaby than a battle cry.

Explanation: This roast humorously downplays the impact of the bully’s attempts at intimidation, comparing it to a soothing lullaby.

63. I’m immune to your attempts to bring me down. Try lifting yourself up for a change.

Response: Immunity to negativity, my superpower. Maybe try a dose of positivity; it’s a cure-all for your blues.

Explanation: This roast playfully attributes the speaker with the superpower of immunity to negativity, encouraging the bully to focus on self-improvement.

64. Your words say more about you than they do about me. Reflect on that.

Response: Wordsmith or not, your vocabulary is revealing more about you than you realize. Maybe invest in a thesaurus.

Explanation: This roast cleverly shifts the focus to the bully’s choice of words, suggesting they might benefit from a broader vocabulary.

65. I’d lend you a hand, but you’d probably use it to slap yourself out of frustration.

Response: Self-slapping might be therapeutic for you. Here’s a virtual hand; consider it an invitation to self-improvement.

Explanation: This roast humorously rejects the idea of aiding the bully directly, offering a metaphorical hand for self-reflection.

66. Bullying might be your hobby, but it’s not on my list of interests.

Response: Hobbies are meant to bring joy. Bullying doesn’t seem joyful; maybe consider a hobby with a happier outcome.

Explanation: This roast dismisses the bully’s behavior as a misguided hobby, encouraging them to seek more positive interests.

67. I’m not in the market for a bully. Move along; you won’t find a buyer here.

Response: Bully for sale? Not interested. The market for negativity is shrinking; try spreading kindness instead.

Explanation: This roast humorously compares the bully to a commodity, suggesting there’s no demand for their negative behavior.

68. If you put as much effort into self-improvement as you do into bullying, maybe you’d accomplish something.

Response: Ever considered redirecting that energy towards self-growth? It’s a more rewarding pursuit than trying to bring others down.

Explanation: This roast encourages the bully to channel their efforts into personal development, emphasizing the potential for positive outcomes.

69. Your negativity is like water off a duck’s back. I’m not letting it stick.

Response: Water off a duck’s back, my friend. Your negativity slides right off. Maybe try aiming for a more absorbent target.

Explanation: This roast uses a common expression to highlight the speaker’s resilience to the bully’s negativity.

70. You must be tired from carrying all that negativity. Try letting go; it’s liberating.

Response: The weight of negativity seems heavy. Consider unburdening yourself; freedom awaits on the other side.

Explanation: This roast metaphorically suggests that the bully’s negativity is a burdensome weight, encouraging them to let go for personal liberation.

71. It’s funny how you think you can control others when you can’t even control yourself.

Response: Control freak or not, maybe start with self-control. It’s a prerequisite before attempting to dictate others.

Explanation: This roast humorously challenges the bully’s desire for control, suggesting they should begin with mastering self-control.

72. Bullying is a sign of weakness. Find strength within yourself instead of trying to take it from others.

Response: Bullying is a weak man’s game. Strength lies in building oneself, not tearing down others. Give it a try.

Explanation: This roast asserts that the bully’s behavior is a sign of weakness, urging them to find strength through self-improvement.

73. I’ve seen scarier things in my sleep. You’re not even on my radar.

Response: Nightmare material? Sorry, you’re not even an honorable mention. Maybe try haunting someone else’s dreams.

Explanation: This roast humorously dismisses the bully’s attempts at intimidation by suggesting they don’t even register as scary.

74. You can’t break what’s already unbreakable. Nice try, though.

Response: Unbreakable spirit, my friend. Your attempts are like waves against a rock. Maybe redirect your energy to smoother shores.

Explanation: This roast metaphorically portrays the speaker as unbreakable, diminishing the impact of the bully’s efforts.

75. Your words are as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Keep trying; maybe you’ll find a leak.

Response: Submarine door material? I hear it’s not great at keeping things contained. Maybe consider a more secure approach.

Explanation: This roast uses a metaphor to playfully suggest that the bully’s words are ineffective, likening them to a non-waterproof door.

76. Bullying is so last season. Upgrade your attitude; it’s overdue for a makeover.

Response: Negativity called; it wants its outdated fashion back. Maybe try the trend of positivity; it’s the new black.

Explanation: This roast humorously compares bullying to an outdated fashion trend, encouraging the bully to adopt a more modern attitude.

77. Your attempts to bring me down only highlight your own insecurities.

Response: Mirror, mirror on the wall, your insecurities are showing. Maybe fix those before attempting to shatter my confidence.

Explanation: This roast cleverly reflects the negativity back onto the bully, suggesting that their behavior exposes their own insecurities.

78. I’m not a mirror for your negativity. Look inward; that’s where real change happens.

Response: Mirrors reflect; I don’t. The real change you seek is within yourself. Maybe give introspection a try.

Explanation: This roast metaphorically portrays the speaker as a non-reflective surface, encouraging the bully to look within for personal growth.

79. I’d rather be a rainbow in someone’s cloud than a storm in their sky. What about you?

Response: Rainbow or storm? I choose positivity. Maybe try brightening someone’s day instead of darkening it.

Explanation: This roast uses a metaphor to contrast the speaker’s preference for positivity with the bully’s inclination toward negativity.

80. Bullying: not a skill in high demand. Maybe consider a career change.

Response: Bully for a living? It’s a niche market. Maybe consider a career that contributes positively to society.

Explanation: This final roast humorously suggests that bullying is not a sought-after skill, encouraging the bully to explore more fulfilling career options.

Conclusion

In the face of bullying, humor can be a powerful tool for disarming negativity and reclaiming control. These 80 funny roasts are designed to inject light-heartedness into challenging situations, encouraging a shift towards positivity and self-improvement.

Remember, responding to a bully with wit and confidence can turn the tables and empower you to rise above the negativity.