30 Funny Responses to “What Do You Know?”

In a world brimming with seriousness, a dash of humor can be the perfect remedy. Imagine someone asking you, “What do you know?” How about responding with a touch of wit and a splash of absurdity?

Get ready to explore 30 Funny Responses that will not only tickle your funny bone but also leave the questioner utterly perplexed.

List Of Funny Responses to “What Do You Know?”

  • Nothing you should know
  • That you need more brains
  • Enough to shut you up
  • Enough to change the world 
  • That it’s time to deal with you
  • That today is Sunday
  • That you need enough love
  • That you need me in your life
  • That you can’t do without me
  • I’m not sure you can handle it
  • Enough of your secrets, so you shouldn’t mess with me
  • All the things you’d never know
  • Everything that you know
  • That you’re hiding stolen dollars
  • I know what I know
  • It’s for my ears only
  • That I should never tell
  • That you’re about to get beaten soon 
  • That the sky is blue
  • I will have to kill you if you know
  • That the moon is made of green cheese
  • That your favorite color is actually neon pink
  • That your cat is secretly a master chess player
  • That your coffee mug is plotting to take over the world
  • That your refrigerator is a portal to another dimension
  • That you’re a secret agent for a society of talking llamas
  • That your toaster has a crush on your blender
  • That your car is fueled by unicorn tears
  • That your shadow has a side job as a stand-up comedian
  • That your shoelaces are planning a rebellion against your shoes

1. Nothing you should know:

Ever been caught off guard by this question? Play it cool with a nonchalant “Nothing you should know,” leaving them wondering what mysterious knowledge you’re harboring.

Example: Friend: “Hey, what do you know?” You: “Nothing you should know. It’s all classified information in my cosmic brain vault.”

2. That you need more brains:

Inject some playful banter into the conversation by cheekily suggesting that the questioner might benefit from a little brain upgrade.

Example: Colleague: “What do you know about the project?” You: “Well, firstly, I know someone around here needs a brain upgrade. Spoiler alert: It’s not me.”

3. Enough to shut you up:

Responding with a smirk, let them know that you possess just enough knowledge to skillfully silence anyone who crosses your path.

Example: Sibling: “What do you know about my new crush?” You: “Enough to shut you up if you don’t spill the details. Spill, or brace for silence!”

4. Enough to change the world:

Elevate the humor by claiming that your knowledge has the power to reshape the world. It’s all in good fun, of course!

Example: Friend: “What do you know that’s so important?” You: “Enough to change the world. Step one: Make everyone wear socks on their hands. Imagine the chaos!”

5. That it’s time to deal with you:

Take a playful turn by implying that your knowledge has signaled the beginning of a showdown – a lighthearted twist to a seemingly serious question.

Example: Roommate: “What do you know about the dirty dishes?” You: “Oh, it’s time to deal with you. Get ready for the ultimate battle of sponge versus plate!”

6. That today is Sunday:

Offer a straightforward yet quirky response, making the mundane revelation that it’s Sunday sound like the discovery of a hidden treasure.

Example: Coworker: “What do you know about this week’s schedule?” You: “Today is Sunday. Groundbreaking, I know. Prepare for a week of surprising revelations!”

7. That you need enough love:

Infuse some warmth into the conversation by humorously suggesting that the questioner might be lacking in the love department.

Example: Family Member: “What do you know about relationships?” You: “Well, you need enough love. And maybe a few more cat videos in your life. Works wonders!”

8. That you need me in your life:

Flip the script with a confident response, subtly implying that the questioner’s life might be incomplete without your presence.

Example: Friend: “What do you know that I don’t?” You: “That you need me in your life. I’m the missing puzzle piece to your epic saga.”

9. That you can’t do without me:

Continue the theme of indispensability by playfully asserting that the questioner simply can’t survive without your indispensable existence.

Example: Partner: “What do you know about being irreplaceable?” You: “That you can’t do without me. Face it; I’m your daily dose of awesome.”

10. I’m not sure you can handle it:

Keep the mystery alive with a response that suggests your knowledge is so profound that the questioner might not be ready for the mind-bending revelations.

Example: Curious Friend: “What do you know about the universe?” You: “I’m not sure you can handle it. The secrets I hold are like advanced-level Sudoku for the brain.”

11. Enough of your secrets, so you shouldn’t mess with me:

Turn the tables by hinting that you possess a treasure trove of secrets, making it clear that messing with you could lead to unintended consequences.

Example: Sibling: “What do you know about my diary?” You: “Enough of your secrets, so you shouldn’t mess with me. I’ve got the diary keys, after all.”

Read Also: Best Responses to “Don’t Play With Me”

12. All the things you’d never know:

Embrace the enigmatic with a response that suggests you’re privy to a plethora of information that mere mortals could never comprehend.

Example: Inquisitive Colleague: “What do you know about the company’s future plans?” You: “All the things you’d never know. Brace yourself for corporate mysteries beyond your wildest dreams.”

13. Everything that you know:

Inject a dose of playful arrogance by claiming to know everything the questioner knows, albeit with a humorous twist.

Example: Classmate: “What do you know about this chapter?” You: “Everything that you know, but with a sprinkle of unicorn wisdom. Because knowledge is better with rainbows.”

14. That you’re hiding stolen dollars:

Take a walk on the wild side by suggesting that your knowledge includes insights into a secret life involving hidden fortunes.

Example: Friend: “What do you know about my finances?” You: “That you’re hiding stolen dollars. Don’t worry; I won’t report you to the imaginary money police.”

15. I know what I know:

Embrace a touch of wisdom by confidently stating that your knowledge is grounded in a profound understanding of your own intellectual boundaries.

Example: Family Member: “What do you know about life?” You: “I know what I know. And what I know is that ice cream solves most of life’s problems.”

16. It’s for my ears only:

Play up the mysterious angle by implying that your knowledge is so exclusive, it’s reserved for your ears alone.

Example: Curious Neighbor: “What do you know about the neighborhood gossip?” You: “It’s for my ears only. I hold the keys to the secret garden of suburban mysteries.”

17. That I should never tell:

Tease the questioner with the idea that your knowledge is so scandalous or bizarre that it’s better left unspoken.

Example: Friend: “What do you know about that party last night?” You: “That I should never tell. Let’s just say the disco ball witnessed some questionable dance moves.”

18. That you’re about to get beaten soon:

Infuse a competitive spirit by suggesting that your knowledge includes insights into an impending showdown or challenge.

Example: Gaming Buddy: “What do you know about our next match?” You: “That you’re about to get beaten soon. Consider this fair warning from the virtual battlefield.”

19. That the sky is blue:

Playfully state the obvious and present it as a groundbreaking revelation, highlighting the humor in delivering common knowledge with a twist.

Example: Friend: “What do you know about meteorology?” You: “That the sky is blue. Bet you didn’t see that one coming, weather expert!”

20. I will have to kill you if you know:

Dive into the realm of spy fiction by humorously implying that your knowledge is so sensitive that it requires extreme measures to protect.

Example: Clever Colleague: “What do you know about the upcoming project?” You: “I will have to kill you if you know. Classified information, my friend.”

21. That the moon is made of green cheese:

Embark on a cosmic journey with a whimsical response, suggesting that your knowledge includes culinary insights about celestial bodies.

Example: Star-Gazing Friend: “What do you know about the moon?” You: “That the moon is made of green cheese. I hear they serve it with cosmic crackers up there.”

22. That your favorite color is actually neon pink:

Playfully reveal a supposed secret about yourself, turning the question on its head with a quirky and unexpected twist.

Example: Curious Colleague: “What do you know about your own preferences?” You: “That my favorite color is actually neon pink. Surprise! I’ve been living life on the chromatic edge.”

23. That your cat is secretly a master chess player:

Infuse a touch of absurdity by attributing unexpected skills to a pet, showcasing the humorous side of imaginative storytelling.

Example: Pet-Loving Friend: “What do you know about your cat?” You: “That my cat is secretly a master chess player. Checkmate, whisker style.”

24. That your coffee mug is plotting to take over the world:

Take a playful dig at the inanimate objects in your life, turning everyday items into conspirators in a comedic global domination scheme.

Example: Office Humor Enthusiast: “What do you know about your office supplies?” You: “That my coffee mug is plotting to take over the world. Watch out for the caffeine revolution!”

25. That your refrigerator is a portal to another dimension:

Elevate the mundane with a touch of science fiction, suggesting that your knowledge includes revelations about the extraordinary capabilities of your kitchen appliances.

Example: Curious Roommate: “What do you know about the refrigerator?” You: “That my refrigerator is a portal to another dimension. I’ve sent my leftovers on a cosmic adventure.”

26. That you’re a secret agent for a society of talking llamas:

Craft a whimsical narrative around your secret life, introducing the element of surprise by claiming involvement in a fictional, peculiar organization.

Example: Inquisitive Friend: “What do you know about your own secret life?” You: “That I’m a secret agent for a society of talking llamas. Shhh, it’s classified llama business.”

27. That your toaster has a crush on your blender:

Inject a touch of romance into the conversation by attributing unexpected feelings to household appliances, turning the mundane into a comedic love story.

Example: Kitchen Chronicles Inquirer: “What do you know about your appliances?” You: “That my toaster has a crush on my blender. It’s a whirlwind romance in the kitchen.”

28. That your car is fueled by unicorn tears:

Enter the realm of fantasy with a response that transforms your ordinary car into a magical creature-dependent mode of transportation.

Example: Curious Driver: “What do you know about your car?” You: “That my car is fueled by unicorn tears. It’s the most majestic and eco-friendly ride in town.”

29. That your shadow has a side job as a stand-up comedian:

Add a touch of whimsy to the conversation by attributing a humorous profession to your shadow, turning a simple question into a comedic revelation.

Example: Playful Acquaintance: “What do you know about your shadow?” You: “That my shadow has a side job as a stand-up comedian. It’s the unsung hero of the laughter industry.”

30. That your shoelaces are planning a rebellion against your shoes:

Wrap up the comedic journey with a playful twist, turning the mundane act of wearing shoes into a potential rebellion scenario.

Example: Curious Bystander: “What do you know about your footwear?” You: “That my shoelaces are planning a rebellion against my shoes. It’s a sock-shoe uprising in progress.”

Conclusion:

Navigating through life can be a serious business, but injecting humor into everyday conversations can transform the mundane into moments of joy. The next time someone throws the question, “What do you know?” your way, remember these 30 funny responses and let the laughter ensue. Life is too short not to sprinkle it with a bit of absurdity and a dash of wit.

So, go ahead, embrace the humor, and let your responses become the highlight of the conversation. After all, in the grand comedy of life, your words might just be the punchline everyone needs.

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